LET ME TALK MY SHIT
JUST LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I AM AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE I’M A FUCKING MACHINE AND YOU BEST GET WITH IT OR GET OUT MY FUCKIN WAY.
BEGIN ACT II.
BITCH.
-J.P.
Stats
I’ve found myself getting a little discouraged by the numbers lately. That feeling then gets multiplied by the fact that I can’t stop looking at them.
Consider this: If Beautiful Idiots LLC releases 50 songs this year across all four of artists at an average of 20,000 streams per song, we could do one million streams in our first year, which is a nice big number right? Those one million streams would earn us about $7,000. That wouldn’t even cover mix and master costs. On top of that, while the reality is that Understanding and myself are in all four acts and we essentially did the 1,000,000 streams, it’s unlikely that that number makes us relevant enough to a larger label or an investor, so negotiating any kind of advance or seed fund will be tough due to our lack of leverage. If our growth continues at this pace, sure it’ll be consistent, but it may indicate a necessity to stay in this phase longer - potentially all of 2024. Who knows?
I try not to get bogged down by this possibility and remain open to the idea that something could change any day. Or maybe that’s exactly what happens and that’s fine too - as long as our hearts are still in it we can keep pushing forward. The thing that annoys me the most is just the fact that I obsess over this scenario. I can’t stop looking at the numbers. I check our Spotify for Artists page every ten minutes some days. My screen time has quadrupled in the last two months. I check our views on socials, leave the app, and immediately open it again and check our views. You know, like a psycho. I’ve lost a bit of my balance and it’s tainted my perspective on the work we’ve done over the last few weeks and I’m not particularly proud of that.
I would like to say thank you though, to the people who’ve listened to me rant and worry about hypothetical failure. Mostly Understanding, Bryana, and my mom and dad. Their patience is greatly appreciated. The other thing I’ll say is take care not to let the numbers rule the world. They can be informative, and helpful when creating plans and decided how to allocate resources, but remember that the most important thing is executing your vision, regardless of the results. The reward is in the process. External validation is a cherry on top. Also, remember Field of Dreams. “If you build it, they will come.” So go ahead and build it. I will try to do the same.
-J.P.
A Burdensome Blog
Another day that I got caught up working and forgot to post a thought a timely hour. This is becoming a hassle and it’s about to get a whole lot busier. That was very vague but I’ll explain next week.
Don’t believe the date at the top of this post. It’s Wednesday, March 29, 2023, 9:20 PM PST.
Peace
-J.P.
Depth
Today, I find myself at the dining room table looking for something to say here. I don’t have any funny jokes or stories at the front of my mind. I didn’t learn any groundbreaking lessons today. I could talk about some of the music that’s coming out next month but I’ll get to that next month. I don’t want to complain about social media or how hard it is to keep to my schedule. I don’t want to be flippant and just say the first thing that comes to mind.
What I want is to feel like this is worth something. I’d like to be more mindful and really write something that could be useful to whomever finds themselves reading this. This might be ambitious for a Beautiful Idiot, but imagine if you read through these thoughts and came away with a new perspective on the world? Imagine if you came for a joke and left with a better understanding of the music business, or you felt like you learned how to cope with your stress?
I don’t know, I aim high. But so should you. I just hope this means something to somebody.
On another note, today is Alex’s birthday. I met Alex the day I moved into my dorm at Chapman University in 2014. He saw my guitar and mentioned that he also played, then taught me a Fleetwood Mac song soon thereafter. A year later, when Zane and I started writing songs at our house on Jacaranda Ave and were looking to fill out a band, Alex was the first person I thought of. He became our bassist and one of my closest friends throughout my time in California, to the point where I stayed on his couch for a few months in 2018 while I was between living arrangements. Fast forward and we’ve been roommates for the last three years. He’s solid on the bass, great in the kitchen, makes a good drink, a talented woodworker, and a great friend to kill some time with or watch a basketball game. I’m lucky to have him in my life. Happy Birthday Alex, here’s to many more.
-J.P.
Closing Thoughts
Almost forgot to do this today. I’m writing this on March 27 10:47 pm PST. Here’s some things that happened.
Spent most of the work day submitting lyrics for The New Hippies album that’s coming out next month. Understanding says some wild shit sometimes. That also makes this the first official announcement that this album is coming.
More kids were killed at a school today in Nashville. The nonsense has to stop.
I rearranged the living room and I think it works better now. I’ll let you know next time I hang out in there.
I had a really nice walk tonight with Morpheus and Bryana. It’s finally starting to feel like spring, so here’s hoping there’s new fruitful energy around the corner.
There was one other thing I was going to say but I forgot it. I’d like to read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas sometime soon. I don’t know why, I just do.
G’night.
-J.P.
Stoicism
I don’t really know shit about stoicism. I was gifted a book that I just barely started and would like to finish, but at the time of writing, I have essentially zero knowledge. I did see a quote though, from Seneca, whom I believe was a prominent figure in the movement. The quote read… actually I don’t remember the quote either but it was something like “our imagination is always worse than our reality.”
I think that’s a nice perspective to maintain. I tend to bog myself down with lots of hypothetical disasters and worry about problems that haven’t happened yet. It can get dark pretty quickly, but when I remember to take a breath and take stock of my actual situation it’s never really so bad. I’ve got food, clothes, shelter, people who love me, good friends, and I get to do the things I want to do every day. What more could you ask for?
I should finish that book.
-J.P.
My First Song
I wrote my first song when I was about 4 years old. Here are the lyrics.
If you love me, don’t throw me in the garbage. Cause you won’t see me anymore. But if you don’t, just throw me in the garbage. Cause you won’t see me anymore.
Next time you see me, just ask me to play it and I’ll oblige. I like to think I’ve gotten better since then, but not that much better.
-J.P.
Gotta Have It
Well, we made it. Our third release day of 2023. Today, “Gotta Have It”, the new single from Roe’s Garden, is available everywhere for you to get sexy to. Enjoy.
Now, if you’re a fan of Hulu’s Wu-Tang: An American Saga, a show I’ve mentioned here before, you might find yourself thinking, “this sounds familiar” and you’d be right. You heard it in episode 1 along with “Invincible” and a couple other songs that are coming soon. Episode 301 was good to us.
Actually, “Gotta Have It” was the first song we wrote for the show. Before we officially began working on season three, Understanding and I had a quick zoom meeting with RZA and the rest of the music team to talk about how we were going to approach the work for the season. The year before for season two, we had traveled out to RZA’s house in New Jersey (the same one that they show the Wu-Tang Clan at in season three!) to work out of a new studio they had built there. I was under the impression I was going for about a month, and that quickly became three. I would drive from my parents house in New York 200 miles on Monday morning to the house in Jersey, sleep on the couch and work at the shed until Saturday morning when I would drive back home. It probably would’ve lasted the whole season if not for a few people catching Covid. Once that studio was shut down for two weeks I took my chance to fly back to LA and finish the season here.
All that to say, Understanding and I were wary of heading east again for season three. On top of that, we knew that this was going to be the last season of the show and so we had to prepare for life after it. On top of that, we had really just begun working with Erica, who was starting to come by the house twice a week to sing. There was a special energy brewing in our house at the time, and when you create, it’s hard to leave the space you’re in and continue that momentum elsewhere. It’d be almost impossible to keep working with Erica from across the country, and if we were back on the east coast for another six months it would be difficult to establish ourselves for post-show life in LA from afar. A couple days after the initial meeting, Understanding and I got on the phone again and pled our case to the RZA. He offered us a test.
Now if you’re not familiar with how the music sync business works in Hollywood, here’s a crash course. To use a song in a movie or a TV show, the company that’s making said movie or TV show has to pay a licensing fee to whomever owns the master recording of the song. Big popular songs are very expensive to use, and music budgets can be limited, so in order to save money, sometimes a production will license a lesser known song, or a different version of a song at a cheaper rate. Showbiz, baby.
RZA understood our desire to stay in LA, but he wanted to make sure we would be capable of completing the job remote. There was a song they had wanted to use for a scene in season 3 episode 1, but it was going to be too expensive, so he asked us to write a song that could be used instead. He also asked us to cover two Wu-Tang instrumentals and to send him all three tracks. If he heard them and was satisfied, we could stay in LA and work on season 3 from home.
We got off the phone and immediately got to work. We did both Wu-Tang instrumentals that day. Quick and simple, for the most part. Not because the songs are simple, but because Understanding and I have been charting out and re-recording Wu instrumentals for the better part of four years as part of our job description. The third track presented the toughest challenge. We needed a 90s R&B track, which at the time was something we hadn’t really ever written before.
The next morning the melody came to me in the shower - ironic, because the song ended up in a shower scene in the show, which was different from the original plan. I recorded a voice memo while I was still in there, got out, dried off, got dressed and immediately went to the studio, where we tracked the whole instrumental. While I walked the dog I called Erica and asked her to come over the next day. By the time she got there we had most of the lyrics and Understanding’s verse. We all sat down and made a few tweaks and then Erica tracked the vocal and Alex tracked the bass. Three days, three songs. We sent them to RZA. We passed the test.
In a way, “Gotta Have It” is the song that started it all. It allowed us the opportunity to work from home all year, which allowed us the opportunity to spend most of 2022 preparing all the music we’ll be releasing this year. Then upon confirmation that the song was going to be used in the show, it made it necessary for us to establish a company that could administer the master licenses, hence the creation of our record label, Beautiful Idiots LLC. The song also gave us the formula for the act that would become Roe’s Garden.
So, if you saw the show, you may have heard it once before, but today “Gotta Have It” is officially out. I hope you enjoy it, because it’s already given us so much.
-J.P.
Are & Be
Why worry? What do you gain by concerning yourself with what you will be? Focus instead on what your already are. Let that lead you. Just enjoy yourself as you are, let the energy flow through you and exist there. You already are what you will be, so stop trying so hard.
That’s what I tell myself. Nice idea, right? I’m having a hard time believing it lately. I could go on but I’m too caught up in the work right now to reflect. It is what is I guess. I am what I am. Back to the music. New song from Roe’s Garden tomorrow called “Gotta Have It”. It’s another song you can hear in Hulu’s Wu-Tang: An American Saga, season 3 episode 1. Look at us go. R&B, baby. We’re gettin sexy!
-J.P.
